Choking on Your Alibis
Background: In a previous blog, we talked about the song “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy, and it got me thinking about other songs, where someone’s best defense is “It’s not what it looks like!” So that’s going to be the focus of this blog – it’s not about denial, like we talked about in the past, but it’s straight up making up a new truth to try to get out of a situation, but then getting called on it because the lie is so blatantly false. We’ll also look at a few songs where the person’s excuse doesn’t matter and therefore isn’t even stated, because the narrator knows what they’re about to say.
“Just a Friend” by Biz Markie
Lyrically: This song tells about a rapper who performs at a college and meets a girl. They hit it off, went to a few movies together, and bonded over music. Finally, he got the nerve to ask her “Do ya have a man” and she said, “No I don’t, I only have a friend.” So he goes about life doing the same things with her, under the assumption that he’s her man, building “a relationship or some understanding,” though he had his suspicions because every time he’d call, he’d hear a man’s voice on the other line, with her insisting the other man was just a friend. Finally, he went to visit her and when he found her dorm and surprised her, she was the one who surprised him, with the other man being in her dorm making out with her. So in the last verse, he reveals this is a cautionary tale to never trust a woman when she says she just has a friend. It’s worth noting that he never reveals the person’s name, simply referring to her as “Blah Blah Blah,” which indicates that her name doesn’t matter, but her behavior does, and he’ll never fall for that again.
Melodically/Structurally: The entire song is built around a piano riff of C, Dm, and G. With the song in C major, this is a I, ii, V progression. In addition to the piano, the song uses drums. Structurally, the song uses a verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus format. Like any good story, it builds up credibility with the narrator, doing everything he could for this girl to support, and meanwhile she keeps leading him on. His suspicions grow as the story goes on, but he doesn’t let himself think much of it until he actually catches her with another guy, who’s allegedly just her friend. There’s so much detail in the verses that the chorus doesn’t need to be anything other than the two things at play: “You got what I need, but you say he’s just a friend.” So by the end of the song, he knows not to trust someone who just has a friend, and that he can find someone who also has what he needs that doesn’t also have a friend.
“Just a Friend” is embedded below, just like blah blah blah is embedded with her friend.
2. “White Liar” by Miranda Lambert
Lyrically: Unlike the last song we looked at, this particular song starts after the narrator has caught someone in a lie. Like “Just a Friend,” she says, “The truth comes out a little at a time” but by the time we’re listening, all the truth is already out and the narrator is ready to call him on it. So the “It’s not what it looks like” is getting thrown back in his face. Before she throws those words back, though, she reveals her sources: “I’ve got friends in this town.” Then she gives him the rundown of what he said “You said you went out to a bar and walked some lady to her car, but your face has more to tell. ‘Cause my cousin saw you on the street with a redhead named Bernice, turns out you don’t lie too well.” Interestingly, although this song still fits the category, the twist at the end where the narrator reveals she’s been lying as well doesn’t actually get met with any details, she just kind of leaves us hanging about that one, but in the end, it doesn’t matter, because she caught him first.
Melodically: The song’s intro gets played twice, and gets played with the capo on the third fret. Relative to the capo, this is a pattern of D, C, G, and D. With the song written in F major, this is a I, VIIb, IV, I pattern, which gets repeated throughout the whole song, except the bridge, which uses C, G, and D (the VIIb, IV, and I). The narrator knowing everything that happened, including her own infidelity, makes ending on the I make a ton of sense, but the tension in the middle of the verses with the VIIb and IV chords still makes us feel uneasy as listeners, wondering what she’s going to say next – and that’s exactly how the subject of the song should feel too.
Structurally: The song uses a chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus format. I like the fact that the song starts with a chorus, because it lets us know what we’re in for, and even in the first verse, there are no details, she’s just saying, “You’d better be careful what you do, I wouldn’t wanna be in your shoes if I ever found you out.” By the second verse, she’s piecing it together and calling him out for hanging out with a red-head named Bernice (and I’ve only known grey-haired people named Bernice, so it’s gotta be her). The bridge is the biggest mystery of the song, but I don’t hate it–it takes the idea to a different place, maybe leaving room for a sequel, but just kind of throwing it in there and leaving us hanging is strangely effective.
You can listen to “White Liar” below.
3. “Everything You Did” by Steely Dan
Lyrically: “Everything You Did” plays right into what Steely Dan’s strengths were, having a holier-than-thou narrator who’s clearly the smartest person in the room. Unlike the first two songs we looked at, the narrator wants to hear what the other person did, but like any good prosecutor, knows the answers before the accused says anything. The opening line is “Where did the bastard run?” so you know she’s in for it, as is her lover, when the narrator says, “I’m gonna get my gun and shoot the bastard down. Now you’re gonna tell me everything you did.” It’s a dark song that fits very well with the larger, darker theme of The Royal Scam, but somehow, they were able to sneak a hilarious line in: “Turn up the Eagles, the neighbors are listening.” Walter Becker’s girlfriend was a huge Eagles fan, which drove Walter nuts. One time during an argument, he actually said that line, and wrote it down for future use. Don Henley is not exactly known for his sense of humor, but found it to be funny, even though it didn’t stop him from adding in, “They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast” in the lyrics of “Hotel California” later that year, with the steely knives being a reference to The Dan and the beast perhaps being a reference to the creatures on the album cover of The Royal Scam.
Melodically/Structurally: I’m going to give you a very simple set of chords (minus all the extensions they put in) for this particular song, but I’ll link the actual chords below, so if you wanna get fancy, you can. The intro uses Em, Am, D, Bm, D, and Em, while the verses use variations of the Am and G major chords, as well as the Em chord. The song is written in E minor, so this is a i, iv, VII, v, VII, i pattern, followed by a iv, III pattern. The verses also use D, C, Em, Am, and G, the VII, VI, i, iv, and III chords. Interestingly, the verses, though written in E minor, use the minor chord, with the relative major to Em being G major. That contrast, the major chord on the line “Did” really punctuates the point. The middle 8 changes keys to A minor and uses C, G, D, E, Bm, and Am, the III, VII, IV, V, ii, and i chords, with the song starting off on the relative major, C, and ending on the tonic, Am.
Instrumentally, the song uses guitar, piano, organ, synthesizer, clavinet, and drums. Structurally, the song contains only verses and a middle 8. There are two verses before the middle 8, followed by a solo, and a final verse after that, with each verse getting punctuated by the title phrase.
You can listen to “Everything You Did” below. The actual, more complicated chords, are
4. “This Better Be Good” by Fountains of Wayne
Lyrically: This song also differs from the first two songs in this blog, because the whole song is actually built on what the narrator thinks the other person is going to say after all the evidence is built up against them. It starts off with “I saw you holding hands with some guy wearing light blue Dockers pants,” but then proceeds to talk about the excuses they gave on the front end: “You told me you were going to Seabright for the long weekend” but then the narrator, similar to the one in “Just a Friend” asserts that “Something don’t seem right” especially after “Your best friend Rene saw you at The Gap with somebody in a baseball cap,” and later asserts that he “Saw you sharing a hot dog with mustard after work with the same old polyester jerk,” and that honestly sickens me. A hot dog with mustard?! The chorus then says to the other person, “This better be good, ‘cause you sure don’t act like you should.”
The bridge to this song is so fantastic that we need to divide my love for it into two sections, but here, we’ll talk about the lyrics: “I know you’ll deny it but don’t even try it, your half-baked alibi is so full of holes. I think you should try and stop in at the donut shop, they might buy it, I sure won’t.” So first of all, the visual of a half-baked alibi is a terrific line, even speaking metaphorically. You could leave it alone, but that’s not enough. Calling it so full of holes is great, but not fully re-inventing the wheel. But then he goes in for the killshot, comparing the alibi to a donut and saying the people there might buy it. It’s nothing short of terrific.
Melodically: The song’s intro uses D, D/C#, C, B, Em, Asus4, and A. With the song written in D major, this is a I, VII, VI, ii, V pattern. The verses then use the same pattern once, followed by D, C, B, B7, Em, Asus4, and A. This is a I, VIIb, VI, ii, V pattern, before reverting to the intro chords again. The chords for the chorus are D, B7, Em, Asus4, and A, a I, VI, ii, V pattern, played twice. The bridge uses A#, Gm, C, F, and A, a V, iv, VIIb, III, V pattern, followed by A#, Gm, F, A, and D (a V#, iv, IIIb, V, I pattern, forming a perfect cadence the second time around). Though there’s no thematic resolve to the narrator’s anger in the bridge, ending with “They might buy it, I sure won’t,” ending on the I allows the bridge to transition into a solo to help build up more tension (as the solo, played over the verse chords, ends on the V), and the chorus begins on the I chord. Instrumentally, the song uses guitar, bass, drums, and other percussion, including a xylophone or maybe a timpani.
Structurally: The song’s structure is very interesting, as it contains two parts to each verse. The first part of the first verse sees the narrator telling the other person that he saw her with another guy, and the second part refuting her alibis (that we previously didn’t know about), which makes it even more interesting. It’s “This is what I saw, this is what you said,” rather than “This is what you said, this is what I saw.” So by the time she could actually respond, he basically doesn’t wanna hear it, or only wants to hear it so he can throw it back. It’s just terrific. Overall, the song uses a verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, solo, chorus format.
You can listen to “This Better Be Good” below.
